literature

To Say I Love You

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Taamafish's avatar
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Literature Text

What does it mean to say I love you? I understand that love is a feeling that when you see that person that you love, your heart hurts if it's not you that they're with. And your stomach flutters when you see them. And your face sometimes turns red, and feels hot when you see them. If that's all it means, then I know I love Hayden.

But what does it really mean? And, since it's so commonly used, and so little, why does it mean so much to hear? Is an unspoken promise to say by someone's side, until the last moment? Is it how you feel when you get compliments? Or maybe how it feels when someone special to you does something nice?

And there's more than one type of love, too? Well.. I suppose. I mean, you only have one
true love. The others may be just crushes, or family love, or loving your friends.  There's also other kinds. Like.. how you would love a pet. You love it; but not with all your heart.

If that's true, then what draws the line between friends and lovers? Is it when you start to wonder when their "I love you"'s are real or not? When you try to figure out why your heart beats faster, as if you're having a heart attack when they're around? Or maybe when you feel that you can't go a day without seeing them?

Another thing I don't get: if love is so important, why do people use it to step all over others? Why do they use it to get money? Why is it used so ruthlessly? Why does it seem like that's all that it's ever used for? Although, I know that real love exists.

What do people gain from love? Other than sometimes heartbreak and pain, if there is any other feelings. Sometimes I think it's happiness, but when I look at him, and realize that he's not mine, I feel so terrible. I don't know what I'd do without him. He keeps me alive, but yet it seems that if I were to die at this moment, he wouldn't notice.

Do you mourn the death of the one you truly love? Or do you just hide? Pretend everything's going to be alright when you know, oh how well you know, that everything is, and probably never will be okay. But still, you go on. You avoid love for awhile? Saying 'What's the point, it'll just happen again'? Well, how will you know if you don't try, right?

When you love someone, why is it so hard to move on? Why does it seem that when the one you love is out of your life for good, the world is going to explode? Why do you feel like dying? When you're breathing, is it harder to get the breath? Do you wish to stop breathing, so that you will disappear along with that person? Do you think that would make anything better?

Does love ever fade? Between one person one person and another, just the love just cease to exist? Or does one just grow tired of another person as they change? Maybe it's that they change to much, and they grow apart, like friends slowly do, most of the time. Maybe it's that there was never love. Maybe said could was using each other to get away from their problems, and they secretly hate each other.

To say 'I hate you' is a powerful thing. It can mean more thing than one, as you may be kidding, or you may actually mean it. It can mean heartbreak, or happiness. Turmoil, or pure joy. It means that the love that you had was gone. Or, never existed.

To say 'I
love you' is a wonderful thing. It's powerful, and it means many things. Sometimes it does bring pain, but most of the time, it brings happiness. I surely wanted this happiness, and just because I was insane doesn't mean I didn't deserve it.

I know now. To say 'I love you' is devoting yourself to someone. Trying to tell them that you'll be there for them while you can. Making no promises, other than that you'll try your best. Saying nothing other than what they want to hear is not needed. Because when you express your feelings toward them, they may better be able to try to do something better next time.

To say 'I love you' is needed in life.


After I had finished my thought rampage I got up, walking over to Hayden. I poked him, even though he had told me not to before. "What the hell do you want, Hazuki?" He asked, not even taking an eye off whatever it was that he was doing, and he pulled out a gun.

"U-um.. Hayden, I love you." I said, softly. My face turned red, and I could tell that he was probably smirking right now. How I'd love to see that face. Before he could say anything, I said, "I-I'm going to bed now. G-G'night." I kissed him softly on the cheek and ran to bed.

When I was safely under the covers, I whispered, "I love you so much, Hayden.. If only you'd realize how much I really mean that. To say I love you took a lot of courage from me... and I had to think about what it would mean to say it, but I did it." I fell asleep, and hoped that soon I would feel the warmth of the man that I loved by my side.
Hazuki's thoughts about what love is. He then realized that if what he thought was true, then he did love Hayden. He thought that if it meant happiness, and feeling like you just had a heart attack, and liked it, while around a person, then you liked them. In which case, he definitely loved Hayden.

I hope you guys love this, because it was so hard for me to write. Like, seriously. I got so stuck, because I was trying to think of all the perspectives of love. All the questions that I sometimes wonder. All the questions that others might wonder.

I poured my soul into this. Hazuki is by far, one of my favorite OCs. I love you Hazu-baby~

Hazuki: Stfu. Don't call me that.

8D. Isn't he grand?

PS: This is for Cruel, who is one of my favorite writers, and helped me through a lot of hard times recently. Cruel, thank you once more for helping me in my times of need.

PPS: Maia, yours is coming soon. >8D

Hazuki Oridai (c) me.
[[STEAL AND YOU DIE. Although I don't mind if you like, favorite it and link it into something. Although for linking you should ask first. Or at least write it's by me. Normally I don't write these things, but I really love this one. ; u; ]]
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Cruel-EffluviumS's avatar
H-Hazuki....*tears up* I can't count the many times I've wondered these same questions on both of my hands, so I know exactly what this struggle between "is love real" and "what is it that I feel" feels like TT3TT God, this was beautifully written and I love the end, even if I want Hayden to just fess up that he loves Hazuki too!! Thank you so much TTATT This is...so sweet~♥♥♥